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Love Not Love​/​Lust Not Lust

by DADADAH

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1.
got something to tell you but I’m lost inside the words must be pearls of wisdom ‘cause I’m a fool in this perfect world thing of beauty wild and curious who may yet survive the night I am far too weak for wondering if your living heart could love me right cocaine is wasabi but wine is the thought of love needing calls the needle and letter A hides the blood thing of beauty wild and curious who may yet survive the night I am far too weak for wondering if your living heart could love me right father mother whoever made this template of desire I’ll own my own but forgive my daughter this legacy of fire thing of beauty wild and curious who may yet survive the night I am far too weak for wondering if your living heart could love me right
2.
I can’t stop dreaming’ little girl I’m so full of big buildings and strangers and wishes wanna have a home but the wind sees through me sex, wind, flood of tearing there is no island continent safe from the weather of my soul seven years ago I crawled up your shore rescued from a sea of desire I got fat in the lee of your smile but tornados still pass through Wichita how can I be your mother? how can I be your wife? when I am so imperfect that the wind sees through me the wind sees right through me sex, wind, flood of tearing there is no island continent safe from the weather of my soul thought I was done with tragedy only sang about the past mending and perfecting the sails of my youth but the wind is singing, right now sex, wind, flood of tearing there is no island continent safe from the weather of my soul
3.
Soul Kiss 08:02
hey hey hey baby you don’t have to stay baby I don’t have to have you that way it’s o k baby sex is all it is and baby I don’t have to have you that way all I wanted to do was to see your face in my mind and baby I don’t have to touch you to know I’m gonna kiss your soul tonight I’m not play- in’ with you I am sin-cere when I say I don’t need nothin’ from you baby I don’t need nothin’ Keep your faith baby you don’t have to say you love me just the fact that you’re here with me is all you have to say cuz all I wanted to do was to see your face in my mind and baby I don’t have to touch you to know I’m gonna kiss your soul tonight if you stay I’m afraid I may consume you if we touch I cannot promise not to burn you) all I wanted to do was to see your face in my mind and baby I don’t have to touch you to know I’m gonna kiss your soul tonight hey hey little schoolgirl can I come home with you? tell your momma n your poppa I’m a little schoolboy too I said “my, my,” like a spider to a fly
4.
you don’t have to feel sorry anymore you don’t have to keep secret the poems of your bright-as- day existence it’s for you to come forward you can have love (or anything you want) it’s for you this whole city you can have love (or anything you want) (it’s for you) you don’t have to be rescued anymore you don’t have to kneel down like a victim to the religion of revenge you don’t have to pretend anymore you don’t have to prove your goodness to the 4 walls & the door it’s for you to come forward you can have love (or anything you want) it’s for you this whole city you can have love (or anything you want) (it’s for you) cinderella’s sister don’t cut off your toe be glad that the shoe don’t fit you let the prince thing go it’s for you to come forward you can have love (or anything you want) it’s for you this whole city you can have love (or anything you want) (it’s for you)
5.
why do you lie and hide like a spider inside your eyes? why do you spy on yourself through the windows of a million-story hi-rise? you’re in love and you don’t know why why do you try to erase all the traces of the mess you’re in? why do you fight at the moment of stillness when the sentence ends you’re in love and you don’t know why
6.
Around You 04:17
day after day tho’ I try to walk away I keep seeing’ you around I keep wantin’ to touch you I keep wanting’ to kiss you wanting’ you to stay just another tiny minute just another tiny second just another tiny—tiny— ’til I wrap my arms around you around you you around you you you you… year after year tho’ you’re always right here… you around you you around you you you you…
7.
waiting’ for ya baby waiting’ for ya baby like a fox waits for a hen like a woman waits for a man waiting’ for ya baby waiting’ for ya baby like the moon waits for the sun sure as the circle I am you will come waiting’ for ya baby waiting’ for ya baby like the mountain waits for the sea you don’t know but you’re waiting’ for me like a fox I will eat you like the moon I will fill my curves with your light like a mountain I will reach you with the fingers of my rivers I will touch you tonight waiting’ for ya baby waiting’ for ya baby waiting’ for ya baby waiting’ for ya baby
8.
I. BORN II. MADRIGAL III. IS THIS THE WAY is this the way to your house? is this the way to your house? can I walk up the stairs? are we half way there? can I follow you all the way? can I follow you all the way? will you stick me in a dungeon? and I can’t come out tell me there’s no earth or sky leave me no doubt? can I follow you all the way? can I follow you all the way? show me the pinpoint stars and the meanings of myths meet me in heaven after we’re through with all this can I follow you all the way? can I follow you all the way? is this the way to your house? is this the way to your house? IV. BASS LANDSCAPE (6 chords) V. WHO CAN I RUN TO? who can I run to? who can I tell my story to? why don’t they listen? why don’t they want to hear the truth? VI. GUITAR LANDSCAPE (12 chords) VII. BLOOD blood on the pavement blood in my eyes I see blood drivin’ you lover driving’ blind light in the distance light in my mind if I thought I could reach you lover I would shine your way shine your shine your way shine your way in darkest dark and you would finally find your way pain, I’m gonna leave you I’m leavin’ you behind my own little baby she’s callin’ me now she’s callin’ me to shine and I will shine her way shine her shine her way shine her way in darkest dark and I will finally find my way

about

In 1990 I wanted to explore horns, so I put this experimental orchestra together never expecting it to last past one gig. I named it DADADAH after the sound of a horn fanfare, my great-grandmother Adelaide Savage Bowles (we called her Dadah) and my favorite sculptor Jean Arp (Dada-ist).

I had suspended my straightahead guitar-rock quartet Hide The Babies. Working with a combination of harp, cello, bass and drums again was like coming home to my band Musica Orbis in the ‘70s. I also returned to an idea I had then: that I could sing a song about my life and illustrate it by exploding the song’s form with instrumental reactions.

My free feeling for such musical cinema had come a band earlier — with acid-rock Phaedra which had played the Fillmore East and opened for the Velvet Underground when I joined in 1970. Phaedra rehearsals consisted of playing one song for hours, embellishing on it, following wherever it went. I began to see bands as sculpture in time and personality. Even before that, in my very first band Battleship (two flutes and two folk guitars, inspired by the music of John Coltrane) I’d become addicted to the thrill of making the music do what I felt as I was feeling it.

Love Not Love Lust Not Lust evolved gradually. The story was written in the internal dynamics you hear, one more chapter in my fascination with bands and composing for what goes on between band members. Harpist Elizabeth Panzer and trombonist Chris Washburne helped me start DADADAH.

Both are strong proponents of new composed music, Chris being a composer himself and a leading player in the Latin jazz arena. Guitarist Hui Cox came to the group in the midst of our first CD Rise Up! after we met in a composers, music theater workshop. Roland S. Wilson played bass with me faithfully for several years until he became to successful a financier — at which point Jeff Song and Keith Lambert stepped in to help. French hornist Lydia Van Dreel was recommended by Chris’s improv professor, composer Joan Wildman. Joan and the Madison Music Collective invited DADADAH to the Midwest in the fall of ’98 where we played and fell in love with Joan’s friends drummer Dane Richeson and Cellist Matt Turner. When it was time to record, we invited them East. I was looking for a sax player when my ex-boyfriend composer Phillip Johnston said he’d like to record my music.

The words are about what I’ve always sung about — my life — how I’m living it.

But the band and what the player play tell as much as the words — about how we all are living it, going after it, in love with it, in lust with it — just can’t live without — the music.

— Kitty Brazelton
New York City
1999


all rights reserved © 1999
Catherine B. Brazelton
& Snicim Vinahel (ASCAP)

credits

released July 13, 1999

Kitty Brazelton’s DADADAH:

Kitty Brazelton - Voice, piano (3)
Phillip Johnston - alto & soprano saxophones
Lydia Van Dreel - french horn
Chris Washburne - trombone, tuba
Elizabeth Panzer - harp
Matt Turner - cello
Hui Cox - electric guitar
Roland S. Wilson - electric bass (4 & 6)
Jeff Song - electric bass (1, 2 & 7)
Keith Lambeth - electric bass (3, 5 & 8)
Dane Richeson - drums, percussion
Todd Turkisher - tambourine (3)

Produced, recorded & mixed by Hugo Dwyer & Kitty Brazelton at Sorcerer Sound, New York.
Edited, sequenced & mastered by Hugo Dwyer.
Photography by Juhi Schiller
Design by Dolphin Design
A&R Angelo Verploegen

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Kitty Brazelton New York, New York

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kitbraz.info/contact

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